Understanding Female Desire at Every Life Stage

Spoiler alert: Your libido is probably fine. But let us break it down for you anyway

Look, there's no magic number for what's normal regarding sex drive. Some Aussie women want sex daily, others are happy with once a month or less. The key thing is whether YOUR level bothers YOU.

Let’s do a quick reality check
About 50% of Australian women deal with low libido at some point. That is about half of us. So if you're reading this thinking that something is wrong with you - nah mate, you're in good company.
Your desire changes with hormones, stress, relationships, age, meds, sleep, whether your partner loaded the dishwasher...basically everything.
Normal for it to go up and down.

What Actually Affects Your Libido

Hormones - testosterone (yeah women have it too) peaks at 20 then drops by half at 40. Estrogen does its own thing during your cycle. Birth control can mess with both.

Life stuff - stress, exhaustion, depression, relationship dramas, work pressure, kids, money worries

Physical things - medications (especially antidepressants), health conditions, painful sex, body image issues

Age and life stages - lets get into this bit

Your Libido Through the Years

Teens (12-18): Everything's New and Confusing
Hormones are going crazy. You are figuring out what you like. You are also dealing with social pressure. People may say you are too sexual or not sexual enough. Some teens have strong desires, others do not. Let us be the first to tell you that both are totally normal.

Young Adults (18-25): Peak Hormones vs Real Life
This should be a time of strong desire due to hormones. However, stress from school, job pressure, lack of experience, and body image issues often interfere. Plus this is when many women start hormonal contraception which can tank libido for some.

Late 20s-30s: The Sweet Spot (Maybe)
Many women report their best sexual confidence during this time. But life gets complex! Careers, relationships, maybe kids, house stress. Your desire becomes more responsive than spontaneous (need the right mood/timing).

35-45: The Responsive Era
Hormones start declining gradually. Many women need certain conditions to feel interested. They want good communication with their partner. They also need less stress, time, and energy. Kids make everything harder.

Perimenopause (45-55): Hormonal Chaos
Estrogen all over the place, unpredictable cycles, hot flashes, sleep issues. About 10-15% of perimenopausal women lose significant desire but physical symptoms often matter more than hormones alone.

Post menopause (Over the age of 55): Stability Returns Finally
Lower but more predictable hormone levels. Many women stay sexually active into their 70s. Physical changes need attention (more time, lubrication wink wink) but satisfaction can actually improve.

When to Actually Worry

• Sudden major changes (especially with other symptoms)
• If it bothers you or causes relationship stress
• Physical pain during sex
• Complete loss of interest that distresses you
  
  

What Actually Helps

Stress management - 
Exercise, sleep, boundaries around work/family stuff

Communication -
Talk to your partner about what you need

Health basics -
Treat underlying conditions, review medications with your doctor

Body acceptance - 
Work on feeling good about yourself rather than meeting impossible standards

Professional help -
GPs, gynecologists, counselors who know about sexual health

The Bottom Line

Your libido is as individual as your coffee order. What matters isn't how often you want sex compared to your mate or some magazine article. What matters is whether you're happy with your sex life and whether any changes are bothering you.

If you feel stressed about your libido being "wrong," take a breath. Most changes are normal responses to what's happening in your life. And if something does need attention, there's usually help available.

Stop comparing yourself to unrealistic standards. Focus on what really works for your body and your life.

Read our other blogs on tip to improve pleasure and confidence in bed.