Unpacking the “I can’t orgasm with a condom on” excuse

“Like you’re getting a massage while wearing a winter coat.” That’s the analogy comedian Ari Shaffir once used to describe wearing condoms, playfully jesting in the same stand-up set that men shouldn’t always have to wear them. And Shaffir’s obviously not the first guy to try and get out of using barrier protection.

The “but I can’t feel anything when I wear one/I can’t orgasm with a condom on” is a common trope among men who attempt to guilt their sexual partners into going bareback.

It’s also becoming worryingly widespread.

According to the latest data from the National Debrief Survey, a whopping 75 per cent of young Australians have recently had sex without a condom. Which is particularly concerning, given research shows STIs are currently on the rise.

The fact is, even if condoms did result in decreased sensitivity for penis owners, this wouldn’t be excuse enough to forgo one, given the risk factors involved. But while Shaffir’s description might have held true for condom wearers at one point in history, it’s certainly no longer the case today.

Advancements in condom technology mean barrier protection is thinner than ever before, allowing for heightened sensitivity and comfort.

MOMENTS offer an Ultra Thin range that even comes in Extra Large sizing, so there’s truly no excuse not to put one on. (Also, I recently put a Regular size MOMENTS condom over my foot to show just how ludicrous the suggestion is that there are guys who are simply “too big” to cover up).

In truth, there’s no excuse for a partner to gamble with your sexual health. Everyone has a right to safe sex, and anyone who tries to guilt you into thinking otherwise doesn’t deserve access to your body.

Also, while the orgasm gap still exists (the most extensive study into gender and pleasure found straight men get off 95 per cent of the time during partnered sex, while their female partners climax just 65 per cent of the time), your go-to response to a guy who insists he won’t climax if he wraps up should be, “Cool. Solidarity, bro. I won’t be coming either.”

Nadia Bokody is a sex columnist, media personality and MOMENTS ambassador.